Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Project #1: Learning to Longboard

Project #1: Learn how to Longboard.

Like skateboarding.  Yeah.  Most people learn how to skateboard when they're 8.  And a boy.  I'm a 29 year old woman.  Leaning how to longboard.

I've been out 8 times so far.

#1) the second most interesting man in the world surprised me with a date to try his longboard! I successfully coasted down a gentle slope 4 times and sorta learned how to push.

#2) the second most interesting man in the world took me over to an empty parking lot behind Vons.  these lots are sad because they are totally unnecessary and unused. so I used it.  I coasted more confidently down a bigger hill and then pushed UP said hill. only  1 minor stumbley kind of fall - no injury

#3) took the longboard to work.  after work tried skating around the block a little. terrible idea.  learned a valuable lesson called "large cracks make you stop fast".  also discovered that pushing while turning is disastrous.

#3) went out with Stetson, the dog.  clearly starting to feel confident. he pulled me to the park and no one died!  on the way home he did try to kill me in a situation involving a telephone pole, the leash, and physics, but I artfully (read "jumped off the board to avoid death") navigated the ordeal.

#4) went out with Stetson again. still no dying.  almost lost the dog though...he found something down in the riverbed and wouldn't come back.  please do not tell his mom about this. she doesn't allow him off the leash.  also: he may have gotten his ticks there that day.  gross. FIRST INJURY:  fell back and landed on my right index finger knuckle.  Still not healed.

#5) the second most interesting man in the world and myself rode our longboards over to the coffee shop and to the store.  I was afraid of the cars and trying to turn.  Did manage to successfully skate home WHILE HOLDING A BAG OF EGGS.  No fatalities. 

#6) out with stetson again...tried to go down a very large hill.  got too scared and stopped.  meanwhile, Stetson he dog WILL NOT stop running toward cars.  obviously this makes me nervous.  we did make friends with a a young blue eyed dog.  I finally get the balls to go down the last part of the hill AND I DID IT! Very exciting.  Skate home...very happy. Also made friends with an elderly woman named Marcia waiting for the bus.  we will hang out with her later.

#7)  while at the second most interesting man in the world's home one morning I felt confident and able to do anything.  "I'm going to try your longboard, ok?"  and out I went into the cul du sac.  Facts:  A) this is a shorter long board than mine. (did I mention that the one I am using is first of all borrowed from the second most interesting man in the world and secondly 162 cm long? yes.  for you who do not know that is VERY long.)  B) the trucks are looser than I am accustomed to. C) the wheels are smaller.  this is a combination that will result in bad things for me.  I roll around for a while noticing the less stable feel of this board.  then I strike out in to the adjoining street which is the home of a nice dip that is not too steep for me.  I make it down that and feel the adrenaline rush of cockyness kick in.  Then I see the next hill.  Much longer.  moderately steep.  I will own this I think and push off.  except OH CRAP I'm going faster than I know to handle and this board is wobbling a whole lot. (problem: I don't know how to stop.) I get scared and try to stop myself by jumping off the board.  Oops.  so there I go falling down, rolling across the street, and landing on my back.  I do catch the board and snag my sunglasses though.  priorities.  I stand up and act like I'm ok and start to go back to the house.  I start to hurt.  survey of my body says "OW" from knees, palms, shoulder, and hip.  "I fell down", I say to the second most interesting man in the world who is unhappy that I am hurt.  which makes me feel extra loved, actually.  Further inspection reveals road rash on the palms, left shoulder, left front pelvic bone area, left side hip, and both knees.

I am officially bad ass.

#8)  once again Stetson and I go to the park.  No falling, no problems, very short, and unexciting.  not true.  exciting thing: I can cut a corner much sharper than previously.  score.  unexciting thing: I feel sick to my stomach because it's noon and I have only eaten salami.  And haven't had any water.  dumb. may go out again for #9 today with second most interesting man in the world.  peace out.

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