I BARELY longboarded last week.  It was redonk.   but I thought about it a lot.

I went to class (just know that everytime I saw "class" I mean a dance class.  either ballet or jazz.) and my hips were all "no thank you" after skate the coast. plus I was suuuper tired.  I listened to my hips and sat down for the second hour.

while I was walking to my car to GO to class I realized how much walking anywhere TOTALLY FREAKING BLOWS now.  "I could be longboarding this. Psh. walking is so lame." that's what I think everytime I walk now.  Like, even when I'm in my super cute work outfits with my heels on.

I think i have mentioned that I an the opposite of people who skateboard.  I am a classically trained ballet dancer, I work in the wedding industry, and I did not play any sports because I was always in choir and theatre.  The only two even slightly bad ass things I've ever done are run on a cross country team and snowboard.  So I feel unique...quirky...that I am choosing to do this.  I just LOVE being different.

There was one morning where I was going to go out longboarding with Stetson...we did this instead:

 it was really good.
















#24 you know how saved me from a week full of not longboarding?!?  one of the awesome girls I work with and her sister!  and the second most interesting man in the world agreed to join us! and this is the only good picture I have to show for all of our awesomeness. we found a dying monarch butterfly...it was sad.  I hope it wasn't scared or hurting.

We longboarded to In-N-Out and back.  If you have never been to In-N-Out it's because you are unCalifornian.  at In-N-Out we decided that instead of just going in and going up to the counter when they called our number I ("I" was unanimously voted to be the one to do this) would go in and yell BINGO!! I WON!!!

so I did.

AND NO ONE EFFING REACTED!! we took video and everything...no reaction. beetches.

then we loitered.  I've never really loitered before.  I would have been like "What? that's lame" not now...we skated through the Denny's parking lot, through a street off Ventura Blvd and ALSO at an old school that had DELICIOUSLY smooth pavement.  So nice.  We had SUCH a good time!  And the second most interesting man in the world coached us a little bit about how to carve down hills to slow ourselves.  scaaarryyyyy.  but all lived!  OH GOSH!  there as a fatality.  I lost the ring I've been wearing since 2007. Mwah mwah.  Sad day.
Pretty much my favorite boarding sesh so far.

fast forward to saturday night and a bachelorette party during which I consumed 2 long island iced teas, a vodka collins, a gummy bear shot, a tom collins, and half another tom collins.

GREAT idea.

I puked on the way home while almost falling out of the car. and the next day I puked all over town and this is not an exaggeration. twice at my friend's, starbucks parking lot, my apartment parking lot. I'm the cool kid. I'm 29.  I should know how to AVOID this.  I felt like shit.  I have NEVER been that hung over.  uuuuuggghhhhh.

The next day the second most interesting man in the world came over to help me feel better and this translates to eating really nasty fabulously greasy burgers with onion rings and cheese from Carl's Jr.  I felt SO MUCH BETTER after...

But I did notice my balance was a liiiiitle off.

So then MONDAY I walk the dog.  Very boring.  But he gets not so good of a walk when we skateboard and also he's getting ballsy so he wants to pull really fast.  Which I'm sure will equal less skin somewhere on my body.  So we WALKED.  Which again, sucks.

Big field...tiny Stetson

Also, while I was at work I WALKED across the street to the health food store for lunch and had two thoughts 1) Why didn't I bring the longboard?!!?  2) THAT IS A REALLY FAT SHIBA INU!  So, like Stetson except no color and add 15 lbs.

This has nothing to do with longboarding: these are the flowers the second most interesting man the world got for me because we've liked each other for quite some time now :)  He is is all kinds of wonderful.

23 times on a Longboard

#20

OH NO!  Stetson has to go to the doctor. L Puppy has been having seizures more frequently and more violently.  So I drop him off in the morning before work.  And DUH we skate over there!  He was stoked.  He was stoked until we got to the vet’s door.  Then he was all panting and sad.  Then I had to leave him there and he was scared.  Sad day for me and Stetson. Except we got to longboard!

#21

Short room mates boyfriend was stuck because the car next to him parked too close and he couldn’t get into his truck.  The parking at our apartment complex really EFFING SUCKS by the way.  And short room mate was naked under her robe when we found out so I was all “I’LL GO!” and I longboarded myself down there, slipped my skinny self into his door, and then had to skate all over the Fresh and Easy parking lot. (Fresh and Easy, just like me.)  it was fun and then tall room mate and her boyfriend got home and I was all worked up about skateboarding again.  I am absolutely intolerable when I am obsessed with something.  Sorry everyone.

#22

After my jazz class I get home and realize that I DO NOT want to waste this beautiful SoCal afternoon on the couch.  I also realize I want to get better at going down hills.  When I say get better I mean “not be scared shitless”.  There is a neighborhood nearby why imaginative friend grew up and I knew there were some hills there which led to the longboard being loaded up in my tiny car (looks like a roller skate) and heading to said hills. 

  I got a little ballsier!!  It was so much fun!  I went fast and kinda carved and had a close encounter with a truck and an old man stood and stared at me for at LEAST 23 minutes and I enjoyed myself. The only bad part was realizing that the hypothetical hangout out with our new friend V and D from Great Britain was not going to happen. Mwah mwah.

Imaginative Friend's house

#23

I spent the afternoon watching longboarding videos and researching boards.  I want something in the 40 length with medium flex, a great turning radius for carving, and semi sticky wheels cause I want to learn how to skid sideways to slow down.  Yeah.  I would also like the wheels to be pink.  I need a combo of cruiser and tame downhilling.  I should probably get a helmet.  Which all led to me needing to get out and SKATE so I brought the laptop over to this café where the wi-fi doesn’t work. 

The second most interesting man in the world is currently coaching women’s rugby and I think we’re going to hang out although it probably won’t be longboarding.

Thing #1: When we were skating in Hermosa I realized how cool it is that we as a couple can skate together.  It makes us extra awesome.  But it also gives us fun stuff to do together.

Things #2: There is a WHOLE WORLD of skateboarding that I know nothing about.  And I have arrived steadfastly at the conclusion that I am not bad ass. No matter how much I want it. (Damn.)

Thing #3: Now everywhere I go is a potential longboarding playground.

Skate the Coast, Boarding for Breast Cancer

#17

SKATE THE COAST!! Boarding for Breast Cancer!! Longest practice day eeevvveerrrrr.

b4bc.org

I did almost 18 miles on a Tahoe Longboards 162 cm longboard!  "Almost" because we also rode my pink bike, Tori, part of the way.  Which bruised my ass bones but made it much easier to finish the event.  The second most interesting man in the world and I would pull each other on the bike some times…so nice.  Cheating.  But nice.

I am SO glad I did it.  I really have no memory of actually deciding I was going to do it though. (PS John Mayer needs to stop covering songs from the 80’s that I love. I’m in a café.) I somehow just ended up doing it. Hm.

I didn’t fall.  I did cause a minor mishap for other people.  I did get catapulted down the boardwalk by more experienced riders.  I did meet awesome new friends from England and Scotland.  I did meet some of the second most interesting man in the world’s friends.  I did get photographed incessantly by him…it was like being followed by the paparazzi.  I could totally handle being famous BTW based on that experience.

At the end I was all tired and felt weird.  And when I feel like that I tend to cry which is REALLY embarrassing.  And the second most interesting man in the world was worried about me and the medic people talked to me and I was embarrassed.  I was all sweaty but I was FREEZING. So cold that I needed to wear flannels.  Mine on me and his on my legs.  Yeah.  And I felt nauseous.  So I cried a teeny bit and he took me over to a quiet spot on some grass.  No worries, I recovered and ate another taco.  Thank you Wahoos.  The second most interesting man in the world took care of me and that’s why I call him my sweetie.  This is one of the LEAST bad ass moments of my entire life.  I really am just a squishy little girl on a long board.

#18

So the next day we go skateboarding.  In Hermosa and it was SO much fun to just go through the alleys and along the boardwalk.  And I may or may not have gone in the ocean in my skivvies.  (Hint: I did. Welcome to Charlotteville.)

#19

On our way back to Ventura County we went skateboarding some more. ADDICT ALERT.  And we picked out more beach homes that we like.  We’re going to live at the beach part of the year.  And in the mountains part of the year.  And in SCOTLAND part of the year.  Good thing I have family there to visit.  He’s going to crash classes at University of Edinburgh and I’m going to ceilidhs, and we’ll hang out with our new friends V and D from Skate the Coast.  Maybe we can all go longboard those crazy roads around Yorkshire.

Begging for Money $$

#16.
We begged for money.
At Trader Joe's.
With a sign that said, "$AVE BOOBS!"

Turns out most people hate boobs.
Cause we made like $14 dollars. We were raising money for Skate the Coast, Boarding for Breast Cancer. The people who really stood out to me were the lady who was a hippie and the family outside Starbucks who was awesome.  I CANNOT believe I didn't take a picture of the second most interesting man in the world with that sign.

Oh and also, a woman walked by holding her 2ish year old son and second most interesting man in the world said, "Save the boobs!" and the tiny boy said, "BOOBIES!"  SO WORTH IT.

Then we were like EFF IT LET'S SKATEBOARD and we did!  And I redeemed myself!  From the fall off of the shorter long board! I was not bucked off that wobbly beast this time, ooooh no, I skated my sweet ass all over that unused piece of parking lot in Thousand Oaks, California with nary a mishap bitches! HA!

This photograph has nothing to with my skateboarding antics.  It was however my favorite book when I was little. "Do you like my hat?" "No, I do not like your hat."  Thank you P.D.Eastman

Got Pink Shoes.

#14  I did not skateboard at all the other day.  but this weekend I went to the second most interesting man in the world's house and we had a skateboarding lesson.  I am afraid of the hills because of the speed.  because the speed makes me feel like I'm going to lose control and hit my face on the street.  which equals ow.  so HE says "make wide turns to slow yourself down".  and we practiced carving so I can slow down.  obstacle #1: leaning hard on the edge of the board in order to turn and NOT falling off. obstacle #2: not being afraid and just EFFING COMMITTING to the turn. yeah. he's all "you would have made that turn!" and I'm all "I'M A SCAREDY LITTLE GIRL". sigh. so not bad ass.  slight frustration but, like, whatevs.

Went out to try to find appropriate skateboarding shoes...ended up buying ice cream.  we also did a mini scavenger hunt that involved oak leaves and a mercedes. (do other adult couples do this stuff. NO.  we win.)

#15 the second most interesting man in the wold and I have decided that we are going to raise money for the event Skate the Coast with Boarding for Breast Cancer.  we fought with the websites for a while which made us mad.  which ended with us saying "fff that let's go skateboard!" and we did.

then there's a whole part that I'm going to skip because there was some miscommunication between the second most interesting man in the world and myself.  miscommunication can be loosely translated as "Charlotte is a wimp and the second most interesting man in the world really likes her and is SUUUPER nervous that she's going to smash her head on the sidewalk."  It all ended with the second most interesting man in the world being extra sweet to me and us agreeing that we are still friends.
Back to the longboarding: I went faster than I have gone before AND made big turns to slow myself down. we went on a part of wildwood that was a gradual incline and so I got to go only kind of fast and make sweeping turns to get the feel down.  this does not redeem me from the previous loss of badassness.  eff.

did get some pretty frickin' sweet shoes to skate in.  it's for breast cancer. clearly they must be pink.

link for donation Donate? http://www.active.com/donate/sk8thelakecoast2011

b4bc.org

Lost the Leash

#13) wednesday night I was all gung-ho (idiom alert) about longboarding when I get home from work and it was getting dark.  Solution, skate over to the little coffee shop where the second most interesting man in the world and I previously skated to and journal.  My journal is very cute and from Herod's in London. I get over there and it's closed.  crap.  But then the 20-something black dudes were all "nice board!" and persisted in conversation with me.  he went to washington state and had a longboard but it was stolen at a party a few weekends ago.  they live in my apartments.  EVERYONE lives in these apartments. and I was all "ok, I'm going to starbucks guys" right after I skate awkwardly over this big dip.  *roll my eyes* seriously.  I cannot be cool for even 2 second.
thus with my shame I skate over to starbucks.  which ends up being 1) farther than I estimate.  driving is deceiving 2) WHAT THE TUNA SALAD how have I never noticed this dramatic incline?! Yeah.  Gradual.  But uphill enough that I can't just coast.  Learned the lesson called "It's hard to skate without light."  Aaaaand almost got hit by a semi truck.  Please God, no one tell my mother.

 I refuse to wear a helmet.  my bangs cannot handle that much squishing.

so I'm in starbucks and the guy is all "sweet long board" and I'm all "right?!" and then I sit down and this college dude who is CLEARLY a skateboarder says (very politely) "that is a really really nice board!" I think him and explain my saga.  He used to do that half pipe stuff with the dropping in and flips. Yeah no. he was really nice.  it made me examine how I judge guys in their early 20's.  I assume their asshole douche bags who are disrespectful and self-centered.  But he was genuinely polite.  a gentleman. wearing a hipster beanie.  shame on you Charlotte.
then this other guy, I think he worked there, came up to me and was  like, "that is a sick board!"  Are we noticing a trend here?!?  I explain my story again.  He talks to me like I know shit about longboarding.  I defined for him again exactly how far back longboarding and I go but he still didn't seem to get it that I KNOW NOTHING.
BUT THEN this older couple comes and sits down next to me.  again with the judging...I was thinking that there was NO WAY they are a married couple because they are laughing and talking and enjoying each other and they're like 60.  how sad is that?!  They are a couple and the he of them said, "That's a pretty long board you got that...I've never seen one like that!" And I told them about my project.  I like to throw in lots descriptive phrases like, "trying not to die", and "managed to live" to sensationalize the situation.  shocking older people is really just very fun for me.
the second most interesting man in the world called me while I was writing in my cute journal...which was fun cause I was writing about him. :) he's so dreamy.  he was waaay stoked on a meeting with a new asset to his billion dollar corporation.  he's a FRICKEN GENIUS.
I skate home but I'm not ready to stop boarding yet.  I went allll ovvver the store parking lot and around the block unnecessarily before going home.  where I watched "Friends" and finished my Ben and Jerry's.

#14) this is by far my most epic excursion yet. I don't really even know how to begin.  I have to bullet point this to stay organized.
- Stetson pulls me to the park...we get going faster than I like but I slow him down.  He doesn't like that.
- The guy mowing the lawn stops to look at us going by.  yeah...it's true...we're easy to watch.
- as we enter the park these high maintenance wenches are there and I'm like oh no Stetson is going to try to eat that little dog.  So I tell the ladies that we will walk on and wish them a good morning.
- We get over to the park, I take off his leash, lay it in a VERY SPECIFIC PLACE in the grass and we skate around. *NOTE* remember how short room mate can't know that I let him off the leash? yes. keep that in mind.
- Dude in a van rolls up and lets two (2) dogs out of the van...great...Dear Lord PLEASE let Stetson be nice to them!
- THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER!  And play beautifully.
- The man (George) has had part of his BRAIN removed in order to make him stop having seizures.
- One of the dogs is a sweet golden retriever the other is a hound mix...Stetson sniffs their butts.

- George and I are talking about the long longboard, dogs, seizures, and brains when I realize that I'm running late. Bye George!

- Ok, go get the leash, hurry home, go to work...WHERE IS THE LEASH?? I know I put it RIGHT HERE in the VERY SPECIFIC PLACE in the grass!
- Panic.  Problems:  I have a dog and a longboard with which to go home with through streets and cars.  I have no leash.  Short room mate isn't even supposed to know I let him OFF the leash.  I don't have time to replace the leash.  How am I going to get him home alive.
- BUT WAIT there's a guy who has been driving a golf cart around the park...maintenance dude?  Yes.  We (me and Stetson) run across the field to him and I say, "Excuse me sir, have you been working here all morning?" He looks at me blankly. "Sir, have you been here?  I left a dog leash over there and was wondering if you've seen it?"  He said, "skjf;gh;awogh;agrj"
- translated: "I am speaking Spanish to you blonde lady.  I found this leash.  I put it in my lunch box. Here it is! Oh, and here's the poop bag too.  don't leave your stuff laying around the park."
- I'm relieved because now we can go home with no death occurring.  Neither Stetson or me from short room mate.
- I get home at 10:08.  I am already behind.
- I leave at 10:16. I am EFFING AMAZING.

#15) I got home from a somewhat disappointing Trader Joe's excursion with no ice cream.  New rule: no buying ice cream when it's convenient.  In order to eat ice cream I must want it so much that I actually leave the sanctuary of my home to go get it.  Which I of course do because that means I get ice cream AND I get to longboard!  I pick up the board and tell tall room mate that I'm leaving...she laughs and I say, "What did Stetson do?" she says, "No, I'm laughing because you're taking the board!"  I don't understand why this is funny.  But the really huge puppy at the bottom of our stairs was distracting enough that I didn't think about it again until right now because he was SO CUTE!! and enormous!! like 9 months old and 105 lbs!  crazy.
I skate myself over the the ice cream...and a huge tow truck was all, "Grab on!" as it passed. I'm trying NOT to die, hello.  I agreed in a bad ass tone to sound cool though.
I'm getting way better.  pushing is easier, balancing is not a problem, general control is greatly improved.  I'm very happy.

the man at the self check out grocery store was like "You're out again!" clearly he was there the other night when I got my Ben and Jerry's contraband.  (Lord how I love Ben and Jerry.) We kinda talked about it. then he's all "don't get a ticket for boarding in here!" and I'm all "SCHWHAT?!" and he's all, "Yeah there are signs everywhere."  Eff.  I'm going to pretend I don't know that.  Lalalalala!!
on my way home a scary white 1997 rapist van honks at me to get my attention.  I go faster, jump off the board and run up to the apartment.  CREEEEPPYYYYYY. but Ben and Jerry were so worth it.  I watched way too many episodes of "Friends" and fantasized about living with and longboarding with the second most interesting man in the world whom I missed today.  We're effing adorable.

Longboarding and Rugby

I logged more board time today...so that's 4 excursions in one day!

#9) I realize in the middle of doing laundry that short room mate has not replenished the laundry detergent.  I use this as an opportunity to skateboard over to the store.  I took the long board inside with me, got some ready-to-eat mongolian beef noodles and lavender detergent and then skated back to the apartment.  Felt really comfortable and confident though.  I think that maybe Stetson makes it much more difficult.

#10) The longboard hung out in the truck with the second most interesting man in the world's other long board and my pink bike, Tori.  Whom we picked up this evening from my previous residence.  The second most interesting man in the world is going to repaid Tori in preparation for "Skate the Coast" with "Boarding for Breast Cancer".

#11) while observing rugby practice which of course the second most interest man in the world coaches, I rode around the parking lot and the sidewalks of the park.  Then at the last minute I found this tiny race track for RC car racing and it was beautifully smooth and made me practice turning.  I need this.  I can only turn gradually so having the option of turning really tight or running into a wall was a great way to force some learning.  exciting thing:  two of the ruggers can also skateboard and one even had a longboard IN HER TRUNK which was awesome so we all tried it for a while.  very fun.  felt really good about it. then had sushi.

#12) after the second most interesting man in the world dropped me off at home I realized that I desperately needed some Ben and Jerry's.  I've been involved with Ben and Jerry for some time now.  And what better way to get there than LONGBOARDING?!  So I skated myself over there got ice cream and skated back.  Also, met two men who were interested in the board (again, it's unusually long).  One of them said that his dog pulls him around, too, and that last week they had a major crash.  They offered me some chocolate, which I would never refuse, and we talked a little more.  did I mention he was in a wheelchair? longboarding to the store makes me feel free.

I JUST REALIZED that I've left out a huge detail.  The explanation as to WHY I am learning how to skateboard:  The second most interesting man in the world told me about this even, Skate the Coast, which raises money and awareness for the fight against breast cancer.  And I thought this was seriously very cool and probably said something like, "I want to do that!" which meant, "I'm agreeing that your actions are awesome."  However, it planted a little seed in my brain and pretty soon I'm stoked on wanting to learn to long board.

More on that later.

Currently I am exhausted from all of the day's longboarding.  Tomorrow...more.  right now...sleep.  and proper care of my wounds.

latah. (I'm also learning skateboarding lingo.)

Project #1: Learning to Longboard

Project #1: Learn how to Longboard.

Like skateboarding.  Yeah.  Most people learn how to skateboard when they're 8.  And a boy.  I'm a 29 year old woman.  Leaning how to longboard.

I've been out 8 times so far.

#1) the second most interesting man in the world surprised me with a date to try his longboard! I successfully coasted down a gentle slope 4 times and sorta learned how to push.

#2) the second most interesting man in the world took me over to an empty parking lot behind Vons.  these lots are sad because they are totally unnecessary and unused. so I used it.  I coasted more confidently down a bigger hill and then pushed UP said hill. only  1 minor stumbley kind of fall - no injury

#3) took the longboard to work.  after work tried skating around the block a little. terrible idea.  learned a valuable lesson called "large cracks make you stop fast".  also discovered that pushing while turning is disastrous.

#3) went out with Stetson, the dog.  clearly starting to feel confident. he pulled me to the park and no one died!  on the way home he did try to kill me in a situation involving a telephone pole, the leash, and physics, but I artfully (read "jumped off the board to avoid death") navigated the ordeal.

#4) went out with Stetson again. still no dying.  almost lost the dog though...he found something down in the riverbed and wouldn't come back.  please do not tell his mom about this. she doesn't allow him off the leash.  also: he may have gotten his ticks there that day.  gross. FIRST INJURY:  fell back and landed on my right index finger knuckle.  Still not healed.

#5) the second most interesting man in the world and myself rode our longboards over to the coffee shop and to the store.  I was afraid of the cars and trying to turn.  Did manage to successfully skate home WHILE HOLDING A BAG OF EGGS.  No fatalities. 

#6) out with stetson again...tried to go down a very large hill.  got too scared and stopped.  meanwhile, Stetson he dog WILL NOT stop running toward cars.  obviously this makes me nervous.  we did make friends with a a young blue eyed dog.  I finally get the balls to go down the last part of the hill AND I DID IT! Very exciting.  Skate home...very happy. Also made friends with an elderly woman named Marcia waiting for the bus.  we will hang out with her later.

#7)  while at the second most interesting man in the world's home one morning I felt confident and able to do anything.  "I'm going to try your longboard, ok?"  and out I went into the cul du sac.  Facts:  A) this is a shorter long board than mine. (did I mention that the one I am using is first of all borrowed from the second most interesting man in the world and secondly 162 cm long? yes.  for you who do not know that is VERY long.)  B) the trucks are looser than I am accustomed to. C) the wheels are smaller.  this is a combination that will result in bad things for me.  I roll around for a while noticing the less stable feel of this board.  then I strike out in to the adjoining street which is the home of a nice dip that is not too steep for me.  I make it down that and feel the adrenaline rush of cockyness kick in.  Then I see the next hill.  Much longer.  moderately steep.  I will own this I think and push off.  except OH CRAP I'm going faster than I know to handle and this board is wobbling a whole lot. (problem: I don't know how to stop.) I get scared and try to stop myself by jumping off the board.  Oops.  so there I go falling down, rolling across the street, and landing on my back.  I do catch the board and snag my sunglasses though.  priorities.  I stand up and act like I'm ok and start to go back to the house.  I start to hurt.  survey of my body says "OW" from knees, palms, shoulder, and hip.  "I fell down", I say to the second most interesting man in the world who is unhappy that I am hurt.  which makes me feel extra loved, actually.  Further inspection reveals road rash on the palms, left shoulder, left front pelvic bone area, left side hip, and both knees.

I am officially bad ass.

#8)  once again Stetson and I go to the park.  No falling, no problems, very short, and unexciting.  not true.  exciting thing: I can cut a corner much sharper than previously.  score.  unexciting thing: I feel sick to my stomach because it's noon and I have only eaten salami.  And haven't had any water.  dumb. may go out again for #9 today with second most interesting man in the world.  peace out.